No hair, learning not to care

Updated: Apr 15, 2019

“Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows” Luke 12:7.

This is a story as old as time, the hair tales of a young, black girl, but this is my redemption story. I can not remember a day where I saw myself as beautiful. Endless nights of sitting between my mom's legs as she attempted to tame the mane on my head which led to relaxing it to death. The four-hour process meant to straighten all my burdens away became the keeper of my confidence. Let’s admit it, 4C hair had never been the standard of beauty in a society that praised high ponies and Rapunzel's long locks. Prince charming never ran his fingers through kinky curls or swam under the sea with my slicked down edges. My hair, enemy to all types of water, prisoner to the nightly bonnet and feared by me. But this is a redemption story remember, and soon I found myself in the middle of nowhere Michigan with a ginger lifeguard and gentle giant helping me redefine beauty. I learned that I was a queen in this story. I don’t use this word lightly, it has taken many broken mirrors, tearful eyes and pep talks to learn this status I already held. I needed to rule my kingdom a different way, so one day, in the kitchen of our summer house, we shaved all the hate and worry and stepped into freedom. It was gone, all of it, the pain, the constant consciousness of my flaws and differences, laying there on the floor and soon to the trash. Bald, but more women than ever, raw and vulnerable. Many people tell me that being bald is courageous, but it is simply, not simply, me, reborn. I get to learn what it means to love my God-given self, the head made perfectly for my crown. Now I hear worthy, daughter, beloved and beautiful all in the same sentence, describing me.

“Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows” Luke 12:7.


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